I am 46 years old. I weigh approximately 450 pounds. I'm putting it out here because, until now the only people to know my real weight are me and Richard. Over the past 13 years or so I have lost and regained hundreds of pounds. When I was younger, it was so much easier. Now I have abused my body so badly that I have a hard time just getting around. Walking for more than 5 minutes is agony. I try to shop mainly in stores that have shopping carts so I have something to lean on. In the spring, I was ready to have gastric bypass surgery. My insurance company insists on jumping through hoops, so I started jumping, but I found it impossible to take it all seriously. I have lost not one pound even though I am supposed to be on a doctor-supervised diet. My diabetes is getting worse--the doctor wants me to start taking insulin, which freaks me out. I have high blood pressure. My knees seem to be disintegrating.
I do not want this blog to only be about my weight, but it's not like that can be ignored-it is the biggest part of the problem I face right now. I need a total life makeover.
In the past, I have always started a "lifestyle change" with exercise. I was easily able to jump back into exercising an hour a day. Now it is so hard. Just getting started is agony. But I am trying to get started. I went to a yoga class last night, but I could not get on the floor. Luckily, from my experiences with Richard I am able to modify exercises to my abilities. I was able to do most of the exercises, with the exception of a few poses that I could not figure out how to modify, standing or sitting. Tomorrow I am planning to go to a Zumba class. It sounds like fun, but I hope I am not humiliated. The yoga class was done in the dark, and I was behind everyone, so I didn't have to worry about anyone seeing me. I'm sure Zumba will be done with the lights on.
Quote of the day:
Don't dig your grave with your own knife and fork. ~English Proverb
My cousin Danny was killed in Vietnam. I was too young to remember him.
I'm proud to be an American,
where at least I know I'm free,
and I won't forget the ones who died,
who gave that right to me.
Thank you to all our veterans.